Road RAAAAGGGEEE

1. People who don't use their indicators
2. People who can't use round-a-bouts
3. People who drive right up my arse
4. People who think that stopping at "STOP" signs is optional
5. Pedestrians who wander out (and dawdle accross) into traffic

Inconsiderate WANKERS

Lollypop Bobble-headed stick thins

That fact that most women have an askewed self image aside, If i hear ONE MORE rake thin bobble head complaining "oooh, I'm soooo fat" " does my bum look big in this?" even "i'm having a fat day" I'll be dragging their sorry arses straight into the nearest Maccas, Hungry Jacks, KFC etc and ramming a SUPER SIZED meal down their lollypop stick necks.


Kay?


No more wingeing

Is it just me.....

Or is it ok to laugh when "things happen" to not very nice people?

The ladies at Vinnies think I'm Crazy

But i don't care. If i want to wear a 2nd have pajama camisole as a top because i like the feel of the fabric. I will. And if i try on mens trousers because i want pants that fit a certain way. Thats OK.
Youre getting money out of the "crazy lady" anyway, so what do you care?
That said, I do love Vinnies, and Op-Shops in general for that matter.

Dear Self....

PLEASE do not go to bed with wet, freshly washed hair.
You will wake up looking like Chewbacca.

Seriously, don't do it.

Is it just me...

Or do the dogs bark all night long when you really need your sleep?

Noisey Bastards

Introducing Heyta

I don't often mention Heyta, let alone introduce anyone to her, however, as previously discussed, THERE'S NO ONE HERE. so, i do what I want.

Have you ever seen those old Donald Duck cartoon where he has an angel donald on one shoulder and a devil donald on the other?

Heyta is the devil.

I like to think of myself as a reasonable, generous, kind - if slightly *different* person.

Heyta is in short, a nasty, mean, cruel,crazy, manipulitve slut.

No, I don't hear voices, no i don't think she's real.

Everyone has a side of their personality that they "contain" their dark side so to speak, mine just happens to have a name.

See, as a small child , I was prone to having MASSIVE temper tamtrums. Heyta was my "invisible friend" - she got the blame when things were broken, missing or nasty missives were written to family members.

Now, everytime I have an uncharacteristicly mean thought, or the urge to do something "improper" or experiance an unrealistic amount of attraction to any man that isn't my husband. I blame Heyta.

Luckily, I also have a fair amount of self control - not obviously so to other people, but if they only knew right?

Tall Tales- re Saturday 31/10/09

So, my plans for the work I was going to do this afternoon have fallen through, due to the systems I needed to access being locked off. Blah.

Ah well, instead then I will tell you a story.

Flash back to last Saturday, hubby was playing golf and needed to be dropped off at the Ferry, at the Ungodly hour of 6.00am. As it is a half hour drive from home to the ferry we catch everyday and I had other things to do in town that day, i got dressed in what i wanted to wear for the rest of the day, meaning i had to get up at 4.30am on a saturday. YUCK

Dropped hubby off, grabbed a coffee at the ferry terminal and went back into town (a 15min -ish - drive) to go to the markets for fresh vegies and fruit, by then though, it was only 7.00am. And nothing was open.

Thankfully though, ONE cafe was opening as i wandered around wasting time until the markets opened, so a cup of tea and a fruit salad for breakfast sounded like a great way to waste 1/2 an hour - luckily i has also stashed a book in my bag - just in case.
UNTIL - the footy team turned up. Bleh - I really don't think anyone needs to be subjected to sitting next to a table of still mostly drunk rugby players talling up last nights efforts (golden shower anyone - Oh. my. god. Get me outofhere!)Scoffing down the remains of my breakfast, i hurried off.

Now what to do? By a stroke of luck, I had recharged the credit on my mobile phone the previous day, so i thought to myself, "Who do i know is crazy and stupid enough to be awake at this time on a saturday?" MUM! - Sadly though, she didn't answer, plan B, MR.D! (obviously this isn't his real name but there are further stories and a HUGE back catelogue, so I won't mention his real name - just in case)
Now, Mr.D has a freaky metabolism and terrible insomnia, which allows him to stay awake almost 3 days straight and then sleep around 8 hours,- he also works nights- so chances are, he was awake.
turns out though, he was asleep. whoops. But it was great to speak to him. I havent seen Mr.D for around 4 years and I miss him terribly.
I spoke to Mr.D while getting my vegies and emerged at the car-park in shock, my brake lights were on! Someone was trying to steal my car!! - or so i thought, turns out, even though it was in "park" and the park brake was on, the lights turned off and the key in my bag - nowhere near the ignition, the brake lights stayed on, no matter what i did.
Having other things to do, i said goodbye to Mr.D and got back into my possessed car.
I drove around, running errands, had lunch with a girlfriend and STILL the lights stayed on. Grrr.
Having done what i needed to do, I went home for a few hours awaiting the drunken request from hubby to come and collect him from the ferry terminal.

Tick Tock - the hours passed.

Late that afternoon, I got the call i had been awaiting. I assured hubby that i was leaving now and would see him soon BUT
THE GODDAMN CAR WOULD NOT START
You guessed it, the battery was dead flat.
CRAP.
You see, we live IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, no public transport, Nothing.
i had to find some way of starting the car. Whatever it took.
Luckily, my hubbies car was in the drive, unfortunately though, it was at the far end of the drive, and i can't drive a manual.
So, for the better part of 20 mins, i tried to PUSH my car down the drive so the jump-leads would reach. Good idea in theory, except for the mound of crusher dust that on my lonesome i was unable to push the car over.
Then i thought, it's only a few feet, surely i could move hubbies car a bit closer.
NOT A GOOD IDEA
lucky his car is TOUGH and has a bull bar - as i neatly inserted it through the fence. woops.
Just as I was about to give up and swallow the $70 cab trip for him to catch a taxi home, my neighbour The Saint arrived home, and after we managed to together (yey team work) push my car withinn reach for the jump leads, we realized the battery was well and truly FLAT (sad, stressed face goes here)
Again, my neighbour prooved his Saintlyness (it is so a real word) and offered to let me drive his car. This goes to show how great he is, i would NEVER have done that, but he said he had a party to get ready for and it would be fine.

Terrified that I would crash his car, I drove carefully to collect hubby, until i realized i was pulling a Top-Gear, i.e critiquing the car - seems for all its problems and as frustrated as it makes me, i really do enjoy driving my own car, and it drives remarkable well. for any car. The Saint's car is a reletively new popular australian 6 cylinder and mine is a 20 year old japanese sports car. Point. Made.

Hubby poured into car, off we go.
Home again.
And they all lived happily ever after etc etc

My car is now fixed - until something else breaks, but I remain grateful to The Saint.

If a tree fell in the Forest.

Would anyone notice?

This, this is the genius in of my plan. Being such a teeney-tiney little fish in what has affectionately been referred to as the "Blog-o-sphere" - Does anyone else imagine massive sci-fi space stations when they hear this? - I more or less have the freedom to say pretty much any damn thing i want.

Because I check the counter, I can rest assured that nobody comes here but me.

And I can say anything I want - yes, yes I can.

My poor, poor hubby if often shocked at the crazy, left-fielded things that come out of my mouth, well he signed up for it after all - but still he often seems surprised. Ok, not Hannibal Lector or Emo-kid crazy, more like cat lady eccentric.
At least thats how i like to see myself anyway. And I have to consciously "tone it down" when I'm around people other than those I consider close friends, who lets face it, are a little nuts themselves - but thats what i like about them!

The point being, "filter" be dammed, I'm gonna say what i want, and just as the invisible man cruises around doing what he pleases without fear of recrimination or judgement, so shall I.

All's Quiet on the Blogger front

WOW, blogger-land is so quiet these days, wonder whats going on? Once upon a time i could log in and miraculously all my favourite bloggers had updated their pages with interesting, quicky or beautifully insightful things.

They must all be away on holiday.

Cause it's cute

I didn't put them in there, and YES i remembered to get them out before I used it! :)

Yarrr!

TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY - SEP 19- every yeaRRRRR

I AM SO EXCITED!

"Talk like a pirate" Day is coming up soon, and I can't wait.
It's serioulsy the ONLY day I get excited about (aside from pay day of course), bugger Christmas and Easter when you can run around "Yarr-ing" and "Shiver me timbers-ing" for a whole day!

Sadly though, it's falling on a saturday this year, but I've convinced my workmates to "observe" it on the friday!

So I've been busy cutting out eye-patches and bodgying up parrots.
Maybe I'll effect some kind of Pippy Longstocking outfit - hey, she lived on a pirate ship didn't she?

Check out the Official Pirate Day Website at the link below!
www.talklikeapirate.com

I ADORE

Words cannot express how much I truly adore the fabulousness that is Stevie Nicks.
I see these images and wish I had ethereal dresses and a tambourine!

Ian Kenny and Dickhead Crowd Surfers

I really think my assertion that Ian Kenny is the new Iva Davies is 100% spot-on.



Thursday night hubby and I went to the Birds of Tokyo concert, and although I would have ratherd (is that a word - is now) that we were going to a Karnivool concert. I'm still enjoying BOT.



I feel bad for the first supporting band though, the guitarist was OFF HIS FACE (way to impress people - IDIOT) and the sound techs should be ASHAMED of themselves.



I've never heard anything so bad and distorted. Everyone was complaining.



The vocals were way too low and the drums were way too high and it was LOUD - not in a good way either.



The second support band was Numbers Radio, not really my cup of tea, and again, way too Loud and distorted, we hung out outside and played pool until BOT came on.

Talk about a full-house! Everyone was going mental and having a great time - such a great time in fact, that people were crowd surfing.

Now might be a good time to point out that this was at an INDOOR venue, approx. 30m x 50m (i.e SMALL). It also might be a good time to mention that this was close to midnight and almost everyone was well marinated by this point.

So picture this, a SMALL CLUB, FULL OF INEBRIATED PEOPLE and dickheads crowd surfing overhead.

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

A few people were treated few small cuts on the head and bumps.

To their credit though, the bouncers did have their hands full and did eject these idiots as soon a they got their hands on them.

Back to the concert, Ian Kenny was AWESOME!!! Despite the fact (or rumour, either way) that BOT had to cancel a concert a few days prior due to Ian having a sore throat, he pulled it off and rocked out.

So BOT is the "Commercially Successful" and PC band, I still however prefer Karnivool and recommend EVERYONE check them out.

However, Birds of Tokyo are fantastic live and a must see. Now if only Muse come to town...

What part of IT DOESN"T WORK don't you understand?

So here in Aus, we have something called "The Australian Broadband Guarantee" - basically, it means that SOMEONE has to provide Broadband to your home or you can become eligible for subsidized satellite broadband.

The house my hubby and I live in is about 50 years old, and the telephone cabling is probably the same age, we also live on a floodplain.

So, needless to say, our telephony service is less than great. Matter of fact, we can't even use the landline phone because of all the noise on the line, no worries, we mostly use our mobiles anyway.
So we had the Internet only plugged in, and even though our connection speed was slower than dial-up, at least we had Internet.
Until about 2 weeks ago.

We've called our ISP, they outsourced to Telstra, who of course, claimed that the fault was beyond their line of demarcation (Explain then why the next door neighbour whose service is also fed out of the same pit has THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM) and that we would then be charged for any repairs.

Well, TO HELL WITH THAT we thought. So we called around to find out if, due to our situation, we'd be able to get a non-line-based solution.

EVERY OTHER ISP has tried to sell me line based broadband even after I've explain the line issues.

I
AM
SO
FRUSTRATED

Another ISP has offered to "TEST OUR AREA" for wireless BBand, but for them to even come out and test, we have to sign a contract.

OK, rant over.

I really just want to check my Facebook and be able to pay my bills from home when it's convenient and my colleagues aren't looking over my shoulder. is that too much to ask??

Jersey Lovin

I think i may have solved my fashion crisis - or at least come up with one (ish) workable solution.

The backstory of this is i live in the tropics, yes, Sun, sand, Reef and Backpackers. As such, the town where i live is SUPER CASUAL. Kind of good when one's having a lazy day, except for someone who has a fashion lust and a SERIOUS shoe fetish, a diet consisting mainly of thongs (read-flipflops for non Aussies) and denim shorts with t-shirt is really limiting.

I can only really bust out the boots on our 3 days of winter or if it's raining. Otherwise i get the "What the hell are you wearing???" faces from strangers. BOO!

So, in keeping with the ULTRA casual tone of the town, but also satisfying my NEED for SOMETHING resembling stylish, i think drapey Jersey might be my saviour.

I'm lusting after flowey batwing sleeved jump suits, maxi dresses, wrap skirts with long ties and tops with interesting statement pieces.

There are some great pieces on Etsy but each have certain elements missing.
Looks like i'm gonna have to make them myself .Pity my sewing skills are limited to sack bags and pillow cases. Hmmm.

One of those days

I hate it when my husband goes away - getting to sleep is hard, even though I KNOW no-one comes to our house and if they make it past our 2 enthusiastic guard dogs - Bless their little hearts, they'd be doing pretty well - but I still imagine someone creeping through the house or breaking into and stealing my car, You know, things I'd never worry about if my husband were home. BOO. I sound crap and co-dependant.

So, after struggling to get to sleep last night, I then struggled to get out of bed this morning, hey, getting out of bed at 4.30 is HARD.

That PLUS the radiator issues that i started having yesterday with my car (I swear, it doesn't rain, but it pours with that car - everything breaks at once, Radios broken, new windscreen on order, some weird rattling something falling off noise, leaves in the fan intake and the AC's not working either) getting to the ferry carpark this morning was an event, double check that i've locked the car, and onto the boat.

Google Ads on Blogs

So i thought it might be an interesting idea to allow ads on my blog, stoooopid me hasn't been able to figure out HOW to get RID of those "I lost 20kgs in a week!" and other annoying ads and put ads for products I actually like and would even refer others to onto my blog.

ANNOYING

If anyone stumbles across this and can be of help, please let me know :)

P.S: Ads have now been removed as I personally have NO INTEREST in looking at an ad for Foxtel Sports or some other such nonsence when I look at my blog.

First!

Honestly, who does that! I see people fighting with each other in the "comments" parts of websites. WHY???
So, in the interests of just being tacky I suppose, I decided to do it on mine - HA.