What part of IT DOESN"T WORK don't you understand?

So here in Aus, we have something called "The Australian Broadband Guarantee" - basically, it means that SOMEONE has to provide Broadband to your home or you can become eligible for subsidized satellite broadband.

The house my hubby and I live in is about 50 years old, and the telephone cabling is probably the same age, we also live on a floodplain.

So, needless to say, our telephony service is less than great. Matter of fact, we can't even use the landline phone because of all the noise on the line, no worries, we mostly use our mobiles anyway.
So we had the Internet only plugged in, and even though our connection speed was slower than dial-up, at least we had Internet.
Until about 2 weeks ago.

We've called our ISP, they outsourced to Telstra, who of course, claimed that the fault was beyond their line of demarcation (Explain then why the next door neighbour whose service is also fed out of the same pit has THE EXACT SAME PROBLEM) and that we would then be charged for any repairs.

Well, TO HELL WITH THAT we thought. So we called around to find out if, due to our situation, we'd be able to get a non-line-based solution.

EVERY OTHER ISP has tried to sell me line based broadband even after I've explain the line issues.

I
AM
SO
FRUSTRATED

Another ISP has offered to "TEST OUR AREA" for wireless BBand, but for them to even come out and test, we have to sign a contract.

OK, rant over.

I really just want to check my Facebook and be able to pay my bills from home when it's convenient and my colleagues aren't looking over my shoulder. is that too much to ask??